It’s
1:20 am, I have been awake since 7:15 am from working to packing up my entire
dorm and moving back home… then unpacking what was my entire dorm back into my
room. Let’s just say I am absolutely exhausted, but as I was laying here trying
to get some rest; my mind wouldn’t seem to shut off… as it does every night for
most everyone… but this was something I had to get out before I forgot my exact
thought process or just became unmotivated in the morning to do so (plus I just
finished three episodes of Sex & The City so obviously my inner Carrie
Bradshaw was is in the writing mood).
This
post has to do with change.
Change; verb
`.) make or become different
2.) to take or use instead of
By the definition and what we obviously
already know, change makes something new or somewhat new in certain situations.
I have always heard people say how they “don’t like change” or they “can’t
accept change” … most everything that comes with the word always seems to be in
negative terms, but I see it more as a positive than a negative. Why? Because I
look deeper than what is becoming different at the time. It's simply a transition.
Whether you believe in God or not,
you have probably grown up hearing, “God always has a reason for the things He
does”, and I know it is hard to believe at the time because you are thinking, ‘uh,
why would He want this for me… I don’t want this for me, this doesn’t make
sense”, but that’s exactly why things happen the way they do. Just because you
want something a certain way doesn’t always mean it will happen that way. God
sees the bigger picture; what you need now and in the future. Sure, it may
cause a temporary feeling at the time but soon it will be worth it. Whatever He may do in your
life may not be drastic or it could feel as if your world is crashing, but in
the end it will have a better outcome. That has always taken me a long time to
understand and still will not fully understand but I do know that is the truth. I’ve seen it happen in many ways. But I have always been a lover of change; I’ve
always wanted change. There are several different types of change that can
occur, things such as: within your surroundings, within who you associate with,
within your life or plans, within your yourself, within your goals or dreams,
within… almost anything.
Change within yourself.
This is a very important topic for
me. I am a firm believer in self-change. Honestly, it combines every type of
change all in one, it is all about YOU. Go ahead, lie all you want and say that
you have never changed- you’ve been the same person as you always have been and
you always will be blah blah blah… okay but let’s be real, that’s ridiculous. We
have alllllll been through phases in our lives, some more drastic than others
but it is still a change in who you believe you are or want to be. Me being one
with a major collection of phases… my “skater” stage that turned into full
blown “emo” to “let’s try prep” to not caring whatsoever to, now... I’m
honestly not even sure what I am now, I’m still changing.
Matthew McConaughey (love of my life: top 5)
gave a speech when winning “Best Actor” at the 2014 Oscars that has made a huge
and lasting impact on my outlook on life, my life. Usually when hearing or
reading a speech like this, you don’t fully take it in if they even say anything
other than a shoutout to whoever helped put the film or song together, but I strongly
recommend reading every word of this speech:
There’s a few things, about three things to my
count, that I need each day. One of them is something to look up to, another is
something to look forward to, and another is someone to chase.
Now, first off, I want to thank God, because that’s
who I look up to. He’s graced my life with opportunities that I know are not of
my hand or any other human hand. He has shown me that it’s a scientific fact
that gratitude reciprocates. In the words of the late Charlie Laughton, who
said,“When you got God, you got a friend. And that friend is you.”
To my family, that’s who and what I look forward to. To my father, I know he’s up there right now with a big pot of gumbo. He’s got a lemon meringue pie over there. He’s probably in his underwear, and he’s got a cold can of Miller Lite and he’s dancing right now. To you dad, you taught me what it means to be a man. To my mother who’s here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers — demanded that we respect ourselves. And what we in turn learned was then we were better able to respect others. Thank you for that, Mama. To my wife Camila and my kids Levi, Vida, Mr. Stone, the courage and significance you give me every day I go out the door is unparalleled. You are the four people in my life that I want to make the most proud of me. Thank you.
And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now, when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say, “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know, I’ve got to think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says, “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. It’s me in 10 years.” So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, “So, are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close! No, no no!” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.” So you see every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero’s always ten years away. I’m never going to be my hero. I’m not going to attain that. I know I’m not. And that’s just fine with me, because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing. So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we’re chasing. To that I say: Amen. To that I say, All right, all right, all right. To that I say, just keep living, eh? Thank you.
To my family, that’s who and what I look forward to. To my father, I know he’s up there right now with a big pot of gumbo. He’s got a lemon meringue pie over there. He’s probably in his underwear, and he’s got a cold can of Miller Lite and he’s dancing right now. To you dad, you taught me what it means to be a man. To my mother who’s here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers — demanded that we respect ourselves. And what we in turn learned was then we were better able to respect others. Thank you for that, Mama. To my wife Camila and my kids Levi, Vida, Mr. Stone, the courage and significance you give me every day I go out the door is unparalleled. You are the four people in my life that I want to make the most proud of me. Thank you.
And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now, when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say, “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know, I’ve got to think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says, “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. It’s me in 10 years.” So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, “So, are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close! No, no no!” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.” So you see every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero’s always ten years away. I’m never going to be my hero. I’m not going to attain that. I know I’m not. And that’s just fine with me, because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing. So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we’re chasing. To that I say: Amen. To that I say, All right, all right, all right. To that I say, just keep living, eh? Thank you.
Okay,
now read that again slowly and out loud (if you didn't the first time). Truly read it. Truly understand it. Of course, I was
getting emotional as I was writing and listening to this… but when am I not
emotional, right? Lol.
Obviously
I was and want others to be inspired by the love of God or the solid support
from family to lean on, but the part that really hit me was becoming your own
hero. How could I, Macy Jo, be my own hero? I don’t even see myself as someone
else’s hero so why in the world would I want to be my own? But that is exactly
what clicked with me: if I am not happy with who I am at this very moment to where
I wouldn’t have even looked up to myself when I was younger or expect someone
else to right now, when will I be proud of that? I am definitely not the same
person I was this time last year, last year at this time I wasn’t the same
person as I was the year before, the list continues, but the changes is what
matters. You should never care what other people think of you or your decisions, they are for you, not for them. If people call you out for being “different” or say they
don’t like who you have “become”, hand them a cookie and be on your way. True
people in your life will support you whether they agree/understand it or not,
if they can’t, you don’t need to let them rain on your new* parade or drag you
down from the progress you are trying to make. People will always judge you
when you do something that it out of their own comfort zone… give them
something to judge and stand for yourself instead of pleasing others or
continuing the same motions to “play it safe”. My family always brings up my “emo”
days as blackmail or just to make fun, but when we do talk about it my sister
will ask why my parents let me do that or buy me the things to go with the “look”
and every time they say that it was what I wanted... even though it was random
and I looked so stupid, they still supported me. Now, many moons later, I am
not completely different but at the same time I am completely different. Yes, I
am still me, but I am finding new things out about myself and I am shedding off
things that haven’t been beneficial to me. I hate when people say, “where do
you see yourself in 5/10/20 years?” … uh, how am I supposed to know? I don’t
even know what I’m doing right now in my life. But hearing this speech made me
really think: wait, what do I want to achieve in the next 10 years? Who do I want
to achieve in 10 years? Heck, what and who do I want to achieve within the next
week? Month? I am a big dreamer, probably too much for my own good but it keeps
me going, motivated, determined and excited. Turning into my own hero won’t be a
challenge for me due to this reason- it’s just taking the step to start, to
step away from what people might think or say, to step into a new mindset and
routine, to step into my new* life. Change is going to be constant, how you choose
to change is ultimately your choice. It will take time, but as cheesy as this may
sound, like Miley Cyrus sang, “life is a climb, but the view is great.” What
will your view look like? Who will you, as your hero, be in the near and far
future? Chase them and no one else. Be you but also be who you want to look up to.
(Lol,
it’s 3:10 am. How am I still functioning? If none of this makes sense, blame my brain for not letting me sleep... so, goodnight and HAPPY SUMMER… If I haven’t
said it enough, I AM OFFICIALLY A SENIOR IN COLLEGEEEEEE!)
