As I
take a break from this cramming of studying this last final, I felt the need to
write a post, no, I'm not procrastinating if that's what you're
thinking......... You always here people
having their own "movement" or following someone else's
"movement". You've probably watched Miley Cyrus's Movement
documentary explaining her transition into the crazy self she is or have become
obsessed with Justin Bieber's Purpose Movement like I am showing his progress
and change... but truly, what is a "movement"?
1. An act of changing positions or location.
2. group of people working
together to advance their political, social, or artistic ideas.
Okay, so maybe the first definition isn't relevant, but the second
is what we are going to look further into. "A group of people working
together to advance their political, social, or artistic ideas", though it
doesn't have to be a group, you can do this on your own. I have started my own,
by myself, and my life has completely turned around. I don't expect you to
follow my movement, but I encourage you to start your own either by yourself or
with a few people and watch the transition of your life.
Let me
introduce you to my "movement", this is honestly something I feel
very deeply about: I started
this at the beginning of the summer, not only because I had just gotten out of
a relationship, but this happening opened my eyes to show me that I truly
wasn't living the right way for myself and I was distant from my true
"self" because I let everyone else make "me" instead... as
I've said before, I was the type of person who let anyone and everyone
walk all over me yet apologized for something they did to me. I focused solely
on my partner and revolved my decisions around theirs- following what their
dreams were while putting mine on the back burner or ignoring mine completely.
I filtered anything I said or held back what I wanted/needed to say just
to save face or prevent someone being mad at me, I couldn't handle the thought
of something thinking badly of me or being mad at me. This is ultimately when
the movement began. I was not going to be this anymore. But changing those few
things started something more. I decided my life was going to take a 180
and I wasn't going to look back.
People
say you can't just wake up one day and be a different person, but somehow, I
did, and I was different. I told myself to straighten up. My heart wasn't going
to heal if I continued to let it hurt me. I was going to get it all out and
move forward. Face it then leave it. That was the first step. I quickly learned
that people are going to leave and there is nothing you can do about it,
they will have their reasons, let them leave. This lead to more
people leaving, more of me closing the door on some, I wasn't going to beg for
people to stay in my life... if they wanted to leave, that wasn't my fault, if
they only needed me for their own benefits, I wasn't going to be in a one-way friendship.
I have ultimately lost a few friends, but I also gained some as well. And
that's been great! This continues so often now too, and it truly doesn't bother
me. Understand that you will lose people, and it's not selfish to shut the door
on them yourself, focus on you, and the right people will come along. Your life
changes so drastically day by day that you don't realize, then you look back at
the next year and realize how far you have come and how different things have
gotten. It's natural. Be okay with it, learn from it. SHUT THE DOOR! I then decided I wasn't
going to filter myself. Honestly, why hold back? It could either go super
great, or super bad... but what is stopping me from this risk? Having someone
mad at me for a week/losing a friend? Well, we already decided that hasn't
bothered me... so might as well. Life is short, and if I never understood that
before, I do now, this is the time to say the things needed to be said. Having
this filter-free attitude and mouth, I became so much more free. Not only in
the sense that I could do what I want, but that I could be myself because I
truly didn't have to hold back or bottle things up. Not only did I
come filter-free with my words but with my actions as well. Go for the
things you want to do, be with the person you might want to be with, try the
things you always wanted to try. Again, what is stopping you from the risk? It
won't work, you won't click with the person, or you will "fail"?
Cool. But at least you tried. This goes back to my "what if" post...
might as well try these things now instead of looking back asking "what
if" it would have worked. GO FOR IT!
I started to become care-free with how people treated
me or how I treated them, in a way. I lost emotion. This
actually hasn't gotten my in trouble, yet, but there is a
higher risk. Sure, I can be extremely emotional at times, but
compared to where I used to be, this act is beyond rare. Everyone is
battling something, yet for some reason society has taught everyone to focus
solely on other's flaws instead of their successes or more
importantly, THEMSELVES. I am a firm believer on, "how someone treats
you is how they view you and view themselves". I also believe in
"be treated how you treat others". Of course, my binge watching
Gossip Girl gives me the Queen B attitude, but it's the best attitude to have:
no one is above you, so don't be treated like you are any worse than anyone
else. If you view yourself as a Queen or that you respect and love yourself,
sure you might get hate for being confident, but that's what you are:
CONFIDENT. You're not bringing others down or letting them bring you down.
Focus on you! Who care's what other people think of you, the true
people in your life will be supportive no matter how you reveal your true self,
the ones who don't aren't supposed to be their anyways. This is the best
feature I found. Just last week someone came to me saying that
"people were asking them about me because I was the talk
of the town at how I've changed", and honestly, this is the first time
something like this has lit me up... why does it matter and why were
so many people "talking about me", but then I realized, this is going
to happen for the rest of your life, people must not have any other lives than
to gossip behind your back instead of coming to you to talk to you about it.
Again, focus on yourself because people are going to be ridiculous either way.
If you only care for yourself and a few others, you won't be brought down. BE
THE TRUE YOU! Along with the care-free and confidence, I learned that having
harsh emotions aren't the way to go. If something does bother you, cool, let it
bother you for 2 minutes then move on. There isn't time to be in a bad mood.
But if it does, own that bad mood then make it the best
mood. This has always been something I have struggled with. Anything and
everything got to me. By this, I would get the strongest attitude. And still
do. But I've learned you either go full force with your emotions, or you
conquer it. If I feel myself getting in a bad mood and decide to stop it, I
literally take myself away from everyone, go somewhere else and occupy myself
in another activity. I will take my makeup off and start over. I will curl my
hair in the middle of the night. I will read a devotional or watch a
sermon. I will turn all the lights off and turn my headphones up full volume.
I'll even just sit outside and just listen. Now, writing is another
option. Once I calm down, I'm completely fine. Over the summer when I was
learning what would help me, I got in arguments with my parents about it
because they didn't understand. All they saw was the leading up to the calm...
the storm before the calm. They saw me just get up and leave or be short with
my talking or attitude, but when they called me out for it, it completely broke
me. I thought I had done so well for myself and was making so much progress,
but no one else saw this progress but me. That hurt. Then it clicked. I was
making progress for me... no one else. If others don't understand what I do or
how it helps me, that's fine, everyone is different and most people just want
you to do the things they want you to do... but that's not how it works. Now,
I've learned that sometimes there will be so much piling on top that relaxing
may not help, so might as well wear that attitude like your favorite outfit and
go for it. Like I said, who cares, be yourself. Everyone has their days, no
judgement needed... smile and give them space. OWN IT!
Lastly, I became passionate. I didn't hide what I wanted. I
figured out what I wanted and I'm going for it. Again, people are going to
judge me for it, but that's not an issue... if they have problems, their only
issue is themselves. I found what I love and how to get to where I want to be.
I'm not going to stop until I get there. Set a goal and objective and actually
do it. Would you rather sit and think "ah that's too much" or would
you rather get there and say "ah that wasn't hard" and actually do
what you love instead of doing something just because it's available. If that
is how everyone lived, nobody on the planet would be happy. That's all that
matters in life. BE HAPPY! These are just a few of my movement steps, but these are
the most important. I do feel strongly about this, but the other topics inside
my progress may not be the right things to share just yet. All I know is making
this change completely flipped my life around and I couldn't be happier with
it. To know that I'm still progressing is such an exciting thing for me, as
well, and these keep me going and learning about myself. Now I challenge you to
learn about yourself, what makes you... you, and what things help you to
succeed in life. Make the change over this holiday break and stick with it and
add to it.
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